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Health & Fitness

Au Pairs to the rescue: Helping single parents manage their childcare needs

Au pairs provide assistance to the unique needs faced by single parent households.

As a local childcare coordinator, I have had the opportunity to observe excellent partnerships in action. Several of the parents in my group are single parents. The au pair program has provided a support to parents who would otherwise be alone in their responsibilities. I am always amazed by my single parent friends who are successfully managing the daily lives of their families: theirs is not an easy job! In fact, before I married my husband, he had many years experience as a single parent. He will be the first person to say he felt those days were difficult to say the least. Together with the help of others we gathered a few ideas about the ways in which au pairs help the unique needs of single parents:

Give me a break!: A two parent family is able to shift the caretaking role so that one partner can be freed up, but the single parent is always on point. We are only human and need to come up for air once in a while. Single parents are often forced to squeeze errands into lunch breaks or cart kids around with them wherever they need to go. An au pair is an in-home childcare provider contracted to provide up to 45 hours of dedicated childcare. These 45 hours can provide the break needed for exercise, grocery store trips, friendly dinner dates, or good ole ‘me‘ time. Having an au pair will actually allow more time in a busy schedule-- and let’s face it, it’s so much faster to run errands on your own-- leaving space to spend quality time with your child(ren) at the end of a busy work/school day.

Childcare autonomy: Have you felt beholden to your childcare provider- catering to their sick days and schedule? An au pair can provide childcare autonomy-- so you can set the agenda, the enrichment opportunities, manage play-dates, and organize your schedule the way you see fit. This managerial aspect is invaluable in that it restores parenting freedoms that had been assigned to a group care environment. With an au pair you are not beholden to someone else’s schedule.

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You’re not in it alone: Au Pairs provide a kind of in-home involvement that allows for sharing the privileges and duties of parenting with someone of your choosing. Often this person can become a trusted member of the family who assists with the parenting issues and reinforces parental directives. Having another voice that underscores life lessons and responsibilities is invaluable as children grow older, not to mention the significance of having another set of eyes and ears to monitor when you are unavailable.

Cultural Opportunities: While this is not unique to single parenting, the au pair program provides your children with opportunities for cultural experiences. This is not a one time visit to a cultural festival, it is a life-sharing interchange in both directions; which can be deep and rewarding for your family.

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Truly there are many benefits an au pair can bring to the life of a single parent. Recently I received two emails from (single) host moms in my local group - each beautifully describing the relationship they have with their au pairs and the benefits they provide:

"Being a single mother and not having any family support or physical presence from their father during the week, having a live in au pair is imperative to me being able to work while still enabling my kids to participate in sports and do well in school. She is my partner, and my friend, and is a leader in my house when I am not home (as well as when I am home). She keeps my head on straight as well as the children. She understands how my mind is trying to organize multiple facets of my children’s lives, as well as my professional life, and she jumps in when she sees me slipping. There is no price to put on that. She has become part of the family, and understands what needs to be done without me telling her. In fact she reminds me of what needs to be done.”

“After my divorce, I knew I needed to plan a better solution for childcare for my kids then ages 3 and 5. I also didn't really want to live alone or feel entirely on my own. In an ideal world, I wanted help in the middle of the night if one or both of my kids were sick. I wanted my kids to be able to do lots of activities and sports after school but they needed rides and needed to get their homework done too. I did not want them to have to stay at daycare until I could pick them up after work. After working all day and commuting an hour home to Danbury from Stamford, I wanted to play with my kids and enjoy their company vs. having to cook dinner and clean up. Getting an au pair has changed my life and kids lives for the better. All of my au pairs have become extensions to our family and I am grateful for the help and the memories. My kids are now 7and 9 and very active with boy scouts, girl scouts, baseball, football, cheerleading, and the list goes on. Our au pair, who is from Germany, drives them to most of their weekday commitments and if I can make it, I get there to pick them up or watch part of the games. It works for us. She travels or hangs out with her au pair friends on most weekends and that gives her a break and us sometime to be just us. My current au pair and all my prior au pairs have vacation'd with us and they act like the older, responsible sister for my kids. I encourage single working moms to look into the program.”

For more information on hosting an au pair, please call Local Childcare Coordinator Karen Arbour at 203-470-8315; karen.arbour@lcc.culturalcare.com or visit www.culturalcare.com.

About Cultural Care Au Pair

Cultural Care Au Pair is the leading provider of intercultural childcare in the United States. Since 1989, Cultural Care Au Pair has placed more than 85,000 au pairs in welcoming American homes. A U.S. Department of State regulated program, Cultural Care Au Pair is headquartered in Cambridge, MA, with their own extensive network of recruitment, screening and orientation offices worldwide and more than 600 local coordinators across the U.S. For more information about hosting an au pair, visit

www.culturalcare.com or call 800-333-6056.

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